Chalet with clique! 231109

hahax, peeps i am so busy with CO, running outside everyday, just have some time for myself to rest and sit down and use the comp properly, without pple talking to me and asking me about things. Just came back from NZPSCO camp, clique chalet and practice practice and still practice. hahax, since 18nov, i dun ve a day that i got nothing to do until now, but i am busy and happy at the same time, didnt think of alot of stuff nowadays, just wanna settle things and live happily. I have got alot of great seniors and juniors beside me, they are eager to learn and i am happy whenever i see them learn, they are the best, i hope everyone can do their very best, its getting near and i am getting scared and worried and nervous, but i hope everything will go well until that day have arrive, it will surely be possible if we all work hard tgt!

I got nothing more to say, just that i am very busy, i have a bunch of photos that can be uploaded hahax. all the photos that i have taken and not put up in the blog. hahax.

I am so stress, but i dunno how to explain why i am stress, everything around me really gone wrong, although i try to tell pple that everything can be solve de, but i think i cant even think of a way to solve it and i am telling pple that it can be solve, so contradicting!

I dunno what i can do and what i shld do at the moment, it is such an undescriable feeling that i have, eventhough my O levels are over, it just seems that there are still things that i haven settle, is not one thing, but alot of things. sianx...

I hope everything just go the right way for me, i hope that this week can pass faster with all the things that i wan to settle, i am so looking forward to 23rd nov, cuz after that i will be more free le, from now until 23rd nov, i have to go out almost everyday and spending money on things that i wanna do.

Now i feel that having money is important!!! Never have such a feeling before. I feel like having a break, spending a day with my closest group of friends hanging out doing nothing, maybe talking to each other chatting to each other, laughing at each other jokes like nobody business and just dun think about anything that i am thinking now. I want to have a good rest, a good slp most importantly, more than 12 hours of slp if i can do it!! hahax.

Just hope that everything goes right, and i spend my days happily, if not this year really my most happy years and my most saddest year in life le, although i know as i grow, i will face more challenges, but this is a challenge that i have to overcome for the time being. I will do it, i have faith in myself, so i will jiayou!

Money is so IMPORTANT to me now.
Who can bring back my laughter?
I need a breather, a break from everything.
Just one day of break, i will be satisfied.
Just One Day.

I blogging less eventhough my O levels are over.
I think i try to seperate to day by day.

Wednesday 11Nov2009
I end my last paper today, but i dun feel the absolute joy in me, the battle that i have fight for 3 months, the things that i have study for 4 years and the time i have been waiting for for 16 years. Everything has come to an end on that day. The battle has ended, i am said to be a free person, i shld go and enjoy myself, and i did. When back to CCHYCO straight for sectional and practice with them, celebrate brev's bdae for her and practice very hard to do my best in the concert. juz hope that everything when right.

i was so happy that day
back to drumming.
but i am juz now happy.
i lost something, my DESTINATION!

Thursday 12Nov2009
When back to practice gu shi with the Kc, Zj, Qm and Zy. I am so happy, firz time the gu shi group got full house! Then we took video on how we play and look at it, the firz time was a mess at me and Zy parts, but the second time has nothing wrong, we can play the score, but without any other dynamics and things. but i think not bad le, hahax. We can still improve though. Then after that we went for dinner and when to watch a movie tgt, My girlfriend is an agent.
Then ended up going home quite late, but enjoy myself to the fullest that day! hahax.

So happy, was so wonderful.
Going out with a gang of friends. laughing.
Forgetting all the stress that i have.
I should say i have AMAZING Seniors and Juniors.

Friday 13Nov2009
I wake up damn early that day, i think at 7am. hahax. dunno for wad stupid reasons. Then went to have lunch and went to CCHYCO! We wanna show zhao our gushi that we have practice tgt for 3 times! hahax. Sounds so little, but YAY!, we succeed, he let us play de song and he wanna hear us improve again next time he hears it. Was so damn happy and nevous, me and ziyue was trembling at the part when we both playing important things. hahax. But its over, then went to dinner, but i didnt eat larx, at the zi char place and after that sit down somewhere to chat again until we all went home.

Acty, i am not in a mood that day.
Nothing to say, to talk.
I choose to keep quiet sometimes, thinking.
Thinking of other stuff, which someone has juz suddenly brought it up and shock me half dead.

14Nov2009
I wake up at 6am in the morning, i am going to earn the first pay, my first job, which is data entry+ a little stock taking. It earns me $50, first time working, both enthu and sad and tired. I think working and keeping one busy is a good way to cure stressness. But when the work stops and nothing to do for a few minutes, its just flashback. After the work, i want to watch the World Drum Night at RP with Eileen. Then after watching meet Zj and his friends to have dinner cum supper at Mac. Not bad, but drink coffee after the concert, make me damn tired. I dun wan drink coffee outside le, so tired. I feel very bad too, since i cant practice gu shi with them that day, was so damn sad and wanted to call and us if i missed out anything important or how the gu shi has go that day, got improvement or not? hahax, how i hope i was there and practice. but i am not, i am so sorry, the gu shi group.

I feel bad after i didnt go and practice.
But money matters to me alot now, i hope they can understand.
I didnt enjoy myself that day, thinking of things.
But am happy that everything seems to be smooth that day.

15Nov2009
wake up damn early again, at 7am. Then went to grandma hse, i shld thx my auntie for helping me make my nails until so nice, hahax.. Then went to watch the beautiful sunday at esplandae, but too bad, it is like full hse until so damn full and we go late, so didnt have the chance to watch, then i went to esplandae library and find scores. Then after that went to shop for gradnight, its so hard, i dun like shopping at ALL! Then i didnt find anything that i like and can wear in the end, i think i shld try to find more time to go and shop.

Was so mad at someone today.
Its over, i should have the 'don't care attitude'
Then everything will just go fine.
Peijun just stop thinking can le.


I find that i am still stress and have alot of things in mind eventhough my exams are over, having slpless night, i wake up so damn early in the morning, but i dunno wad to do, i really hope that i can slp for 24 hours now and wake up the next day, finding that everything will be solve. But it will never happen, so i will juz carry on, solve the things that shld be solve, think positively and continue to show pple how hard that one can work and motivate the others if i can and help each other on the way and not do things and say things that hurt others. Helping is a way of showing ur love.

Today wake up super early, i dunno why i cant get to slp yesterday night and i wake up damn early tonight. sianx. I think is the bad dream that i have wake me up from my sleep and i dare not go back to sleep. 2 dreams in a row, one happen today and the other i think will happen soon if everything is successful.

I shall say about the dream that happen today, it sets me thinking on my bed for around 30 minutes before i wake up. I dreamt about me relaxing like exam are really over and i am too free, when shopping with my mum at northpoint, but acty i have a paper that day which start at 2pm. I look at my phone, it is 2.10pm and i am still shopping. I am not in my uniform and i must rush home and change and rush to school by 2.30pm, half an hour before the paper start. The scary part just happen now, when i am running in a big field, which is a never ending run, i saw my destination, my house was so near, i can see it from my view, but no matter how hard i run i cant reach it, i am like staying in the place and keep running, until i am very tired and exhausted, until i cant take it anymore, i tried to run faster, its impossible.

It just seems that i never reach my destination, a place that i want to go, i think i havent have my goal, on where i want to go after O level, what shld i do? So near yet so far. I have never experience something like that before, where i cant reach my destination and my goal. But luckily this does not happen to me today, cuz i have taken my F&N paper. HAHAHAX

I think i ought to set something that i wanna do after my O level. It just seems so hopeless to me, Where i want to go? What i want to do? What can i do? I bombard myself with alot of question, i shall find the answer very soon, to the question that i ask myself. jiayou to me.

Nowadays i am more free.
Feel so hopeless in life.
I find that i lost my destination.
Once i end my O level.
I think i will make myself as BUSY as POSSIBLE!.

Super tired today, haven been having such a tired day after SYF until now.
Practice make me damn happy! and tired.
I just slept for 4 hours yesterday and here i am still blogging. hahax
I think i am used to blogging what i wanna say here.

Today wake up at 6+am, cuz going into cchy in the bright morning.
Then meet ziyue at CCHY, we acty reach around the same time.
I think i will be late if my dad didnt drive me there. sounds ridiculous.
Cuz i live too near to the school. hahahax
When to school and found that we can only practice in 2H(no aircon). hahax
But nvm, then me and ziyue practice until 8.30am like that and break until 8.45am.
But after that i still in CO room slack a while. until around 8.55am. hahahax

Then tried calling qm and kc see if they reach already.
But yah, kc cant make it and qm reach at around 9.05am? hahax.
Then we started with 3 persons practising.
Then after that was waiting for zj, he very very very late!
Nvm, forget it. yah, then after that we practice.
Acty, in my opinion, i think we make improvement, me and ziyue can cooperate well!
Then yah, we can play the piece until like not bad leh! from my opinion.!
I hope that we will be better and can show zhao asap, so that we can play!
So jiayou to us!

Then after that we went to ishi mura for lunch.
Then i meet huiqi and they go home, went out to study with huiqi and zk.
Then after that went home to bath and get some nap, but i slp for 15 mins, then my mum wake me up! hahax.
Then after that met eileen and went to watch Bro concert, his last concert.
He make my day so happy, he make me laugh like mad.
I very long never go watch band concert le.
He look so Pro on stage, with actions and a little bit of movement that i dun see in others.
I am happy that i get to see his last concert mann. i didnt missed it.
I wanted to take a photo with him, but he doesnt wan to meet me, so nvm.

But he make my day happy, i think one thing about band concert is they let the audience join in the fun when they are playing the songs, which make pple get attracted to them. But acty their percussion pple not bad, i hear le very shuang. hahax

We did a good job!
I never regret waking up early.
Making myself tired.
I enjoy the time we are practising.
The best time that i have for the day.
We can do it! Jiayou!

I still missed the spirit that CCHYCO have during our SYF, when laoda was telling me on wednesday, that he was really scared when we are drumming during SYF, he scared that something goes wrong, he say our SBYG was really good and impressive that day. But NOW, all gone, SBYG was never like before, shouting has gone, the mood when everyone was shouting so so SO loudly and the enthusiasm that struck me to drum louder has gone. Now the shouting goes soft that i think i wun dare to drum loud too.

We get GWH? But wad does GWH means? The highest award? We are one of the best? NO! In fact, i think we are never worth getting a GWH without all the hardwork that we have put in and all the help from alumni and instructor. They put their hardwork in it to teach us, but what have we done, we only perform our best for SYF, but NOW? Gone! We are like a few weeks to the concert, but i think not everyone is putting effort like SYF. When everyone was practicing so hard, just perfecting a song.

This is a different thing, a concert need cooperation from EVERYONE! Its not 2 songs we are playing now, there are no 6 months for us to practice 2 songs, but we have to complete the whole concert program and practicing in 44 days? I think is possible, but how can we make it possible? We need the help of the whole orchestra to cooperate.

I think i hope people to remember, winning is not everything, nothing comes without hardwork and practice. Musicians play for passion, we play music is not for the sake of playing it, but because we love it, the passion in us. Always remember, 台上一分钟，台下十年功。This is something that i see in people playing music, people may be good, but did u see how they practice?

Think if u can be as good as them and not impress by them. If u can do that and perform as well as them, u have accomplish something that others cant accomplish, so why not do things that others cant accoomplish but u can? Actually, everyone have the potential to accomplish things, but it just depends on how hard the person want to work hard in.

A good performer doesnt care how long he can show off to people on stage, but they care about how good their performance when they are on stage, how to impress the audience. A good performer can impress the audience even its only 10 seconds. It can be shown, the hard work u put in even u are just performing 10 seconds on stage compare to a person who have less practice and perform 1 minute. So jiayous peeps. People can do it, so can we.

This post is for CCHYCO peeps. If u got anything that you think that i say wrong, feel free to msn me or say your own view here! hahax. Lets work hard together! ;D

Hahax. Here i come blogging again, i think i will be blogging almost everyday if nothing stop me from using computer everyday, so sianx, now like very free, although i still got one more subject to work hard for, which is F&N! I really hope i can done well, but it seems that i am not putting effort in studying it now too. But now here i am blogging and talking crap.

Nvm larx, i will start tmr, i will REALLY start, cuz i think i really wasted one precious day that i have. Sianx.... I feel that i have alot of things that i want to do and accomplish after my O levels too, but i think all my things are so small, it can be done, but it takes time and maybe trust and help from pple around me, i think i will be real broke soon, with all the chalets, practice and meals that i need to pay for everytime i travel from place to place.

I really hope to earn some income myself so that i can help to earn money and no need to take from my mum. At least i am spending money that i earn and i wouldnt feel guility. I also hope that everything goes well for me after my O, i really feel like doing things out of the box, doing things that i have never done and try something new, maybe a new skills or wad. hmm....

I think i will be really free after CCHYCO concert too, if i really go to a poly, i also have to wait for the time that i get my results and wait or go to work maybe for another 3months before the school start. Thinking of it, really make me damn sian, working is for me to earn money. I think i will madly go drumming within that period of time, whenever i can i will go drumming and practice my zr. As long as things occupy me can le.

Ngai han was talking to me about the concert when we are asking if aud, viny and sha gg to watch anot, then she was saying something that i am thinking too. After the concert, we will not be people from CCHY again. We are the ex-student or alumni. And after the concert our relationship with the school and the CCHYCO will be like another status. Which is so true, i think i will cry that day, not tears of joy, not tears of sadness but tears of memories. That will be a FULL STOP in my secondary life le.

Memories that can never be forgotten, the best year in my life, with unforgettable memory and an accomplishment that i have, i have never been so into anything in my life before, never have cried so many times because things that people have done which touch me and make me sad too. I have not been so happy with my life before, i always thought life was so boring, just studying,making friends, playing, and do all craps stuff sometimes.

Suddenly i am starting to miss schooling, thinking that i got so much free time for me to do things, so i started missing it. Nothing to look forward to after O level, the things i looking forward to is to practice percussion and play it well, but other then that i really have no goals. sianx...

enough crap, end here.

I like the feeling mann! Relax feeling, like nothing to worry alot when i use my comp too. No one will care me, no one will scold me, cuz i have around 4 more days to my next paper and it is also my second last paper. F&N! Taken so so SO many paper from last week till now, i think i total of 10 papers already, now still got 2 more left, can feel the accomplishment in me.

Since today is Wednesday and my paper end quite early, of course i will go to a place! hahax. CO room, percussion having their sectional sia! so NICE! SO long never touch the instrument le, feel so rusty when i took the sticks up, was playing long teng on dagu with them. But until now i still dun understand the order of the song, becuz laoda has make some changes, So most of the time i was copying what they play.

Then after that tried the PG, when i look at the PG, i am thinking if i still can move like last time. But i think not bad larx, cuz laoda was quite impressed by me when i play PG, cuz i so long never really go and touch the instrument le, i think some practice on my house de sofa really help to improve myself and prevent me from rusting.

Then after that laoda left le, hahax. He keep calling me to work hard on my paper first, i will do it too! Then after laoda left, me, ziyue and jiaying was fixing the paigu together, i think we took quite long, cuz cant find the right size screw and the PG the side a little too small, so have to force open the metal and put the nut inside. Thx jiaying and ziyue for their help. Thx jiaee for her crap and singing too, make me laugh and irritates my ear to the core!!!

Then after fixing the PG, me and ziyue started to practice gu shi together, but sadly, we dun ve alot of time left to practice since they are going to close the CO room. sianx.. Me and ziyue only manage to run through the first part and i think i clear some of her doubts le. hahax. So we will jiayou together. hahahahahahahax. Then she was calling me to go and practice at 7am in the morning on sat, then i think also not bad, the earlier we practice, the more time we have, so i sought of agree, i dun care my sleep, but i care the practice now. hahax. okay larx, enough crapping, shall end here. bye!

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was so touched by what ziyue say in her blog, i will work hard with her no matter what.
I love Percussion too, and it will be my Best Friend Forever like everyone in CCHYCO Percussion! Jiayou to Ziyue!

Nothing goes right for me since last Friday, NOTHING!
Why things should happen when i am fighting a battle that will determine my future?
I dun wan all this unhappy things to happen, i want happy things.
Things that i can look forward to!!!

People keep stressing me this few days, i got headache almost everyday, thinking of my papers and thinking of the problems i have, be it with my friends or family.

I cant slp well everyday, i sleep around 3-5 hours everyday now, i dunno how long i can last from now till my O levels end. Nothing just goes the right way for me, but i will survive, i will stay strong and i will fight this battle myself.


I regretted things that i have done
Words that i have said
But its too late to regret
I will just hang on myself
Concentrate on my battle
Settle everything after that
Just hope that everything will turn out fine
Because i dun wan any unhappy things to happen